There is a line. At one end is absolute femininity, at the other end is absolute masculinity. You, I, and every person on planet earth falls someplace – at our own unique point on this line. There is no right or wrong place to land – only our own place. This is who we are right now. Men and boys have some combination of masculine and feminine traits. Women and girls have some combination of feminine and masculine traits.

Then GOD said, “Let Us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.” So GOD created human beings in His own image. In the image of GOD He created them; male and female He created them. Genesis 1:26-27

GOD is neither male nor female, GOD is GOD. But GOD’s image, His likeness includes both masculine and feminine traits. Together, male and female, represent a better image of GOD than male does alone or female does alone.

Different people depict different styles of femininity and masculinity. Consider these females: Oprah, Madonna, Ellen, Miley Cyrus, Hillary Clinton, Danica Patrick, Taylor Swift, Serena Williams, Gisele Bundchen, and Queen Latifah. Now consider these males: Payten Manning, Justin Bieber, Barack Obama, Franklin Graham, Floyd Mayweather Jr., Anderson Cooper, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Kanye West, Tiger Woods, and Gov. Chris Christie.

Where on the line do you fall in the Spectrum of Femininity-Masculinity?


Femininity                                                                                                       Masculinity


Many factors have shaped and influenced this for all of us. The environment we were raised in as a child; the male and female role models and mother-father figures we had or didn’t have; the experiences we have gone through; our own distinct personalities; and our individual bents, leanings, and desires. Thus, based upon these factors, we all have certain people we relate best to; those we feel most comfortable being around; those whom we fit in with the easiest; and those we find ourselves attracted to.

Yet here’s the dilemma. Our uniqueness – our individual expression and presentation of our femininity and masculinity is one thing. Sexual activity is another thing. So why do so many people force these two things into the same package? Why can’t we leave sexual activity in the one place it was created for and should be reserved for, in marriage = one man + one woman. Sexual activity just doesn’t fit or belong everywhere and in everything we have forced it into. Human beings can survive and even thrive without being sexually active. Friendship is a wonderful invention in and of itself, that doesn’t need to be complicated or coerced through the madness of sex.

Thinking, feeling, and being different doesn’t demand that one must make it a license nor an excuse to twist, pervert, and change the truth about one’s self. But rather, it is a call and a challenge to develop and display one’s own style of femininity and masculinity – wherever it my fall along the spectrum – in a way that is honorable, respectful, dignified, tasteful, and fun. Boys are boys; girls are girls; men are men, and women are women – and each of these come with some standard operating procedures.

The greatest expression of love is to deny one’s self – through sacrifice, service, and sharing. But we live in a society where everyone is defining his/her self and his/her happiness through their sexual thoughts, feelings, and behaviors – which are being called love and confused as love.

Then He (Jesus) said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” Luke 9:23

Jesus asks us to deny ourselves, rather than to defend ourselves. So let’s admit it, each one of us is a mess. Let’s invite Jesus into our lives and allow Him to re-make us into our true selves. Over time Jesus can and Jesus will change all the things that are in us that are not of Him and not like Him. I personally don’t know what that means for you, as He has His hands full with the work He is doing in me.


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